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He won’t get defensive if you put it in these terms.On the other hand, you definitely do NOT want to come from a place of blaming, assuming or attacking.
It sounds obvious when I write it out, but in real life, you do need to keep clear on where you’re coming from. Adding to this point, I would also avoid words like “never” and “always” when it comes to things he does.
Let me tell you, nothing makes me angrier faster than having a woman tell me I “always” do something (whatever it is) wrong or that I “never” do something (whatever it is) right.
We don’t like chit-chat if it’s not towards a purpose, it’s just not how we’re wired.
I would say that if he says he’s going to text or call you, he should do that…
Can you give me a reason that would help me understand why this keeps happening? I would say go for understanding, don’t go for resolution.
When you put it to him like that, you’re not blaming him, you’re just telling him how you feel and asking for an explanation you can understand.
In this scenario, I’m not pointing any fingers, I’m just saying it’s a smart thing to do because it will give you insight into how you are and clarity on the whole situation.
Generally speaking, I think it’s destructive in a relationship to think about things in terms of what someone is doing right or wrong (whether it’s you or the guy you’re with).
It’s better to just think about what’s happening and where you’re coming from in all of it. But when they consistently do the same thing and it is something that just doesn’t work for me and I feel like it’s reasonable for me to expect it, I do bring it up.
Some things to consider: Personally, in a relationship, if someone doesn’t do what I expect them to do, I usually forgive them… I would say it should be as simple as, “OK, you’re doing this and it makes me feel this way (whatever it is you feel) and it makes me think this…
It’s not the last time that it will happen and I can tell you that as good as I try to be, I’ll occasionally do what you’re talking about… A trap that I see a lot of couples fall into is that one person is annoyed by what the other one is doing, but instead of figuring out a constructive way to address it, they just hold resentment towards the other person to a degree.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating