Dating right after separation

He picked up the kids as agreed and I was to get them back thurs after work.

Well I knew he would continue bothering me so I turned off my ringer, 10 mins later something told me to check my phone had 17 missed calls from him.

So I said oh no this is not, good he's gonna come over here and will find me with my friend and will just go buckwild.

Do you still want to get back together with your ex? You see how all of these things can radically impact your decision as to when to get back out there? I couldn’t convince her to take me back, so I did what I do best – I went back online – literally MINUTES after I returned home from the teary breakup.

And I don’t know the first thing about you or your individual circumstances. Now, in some respects, this made sense, in that I wasn’t going wallow in misery and think about what I did wrong or how I could fix things.

Do I not have the right to have friends and date if I want?

I know it's only been a month, but am I just supposed to wait around until my EX is ready for me to have friends?? My ex is now being very bitter with me, he's told me he will not be helping me financially so don't count on it, he's contacted all of my family and told them I was "cheating" on him and that that was the real reason I left him (not true) and that we walked in on me!

You don’t sit around for six months waiting to heal. On the other hand, there are a completely different set of emotions surrounding a break-up. Well, it pretty much meant that I got back on JDate, found myself a cool girl a few hours later and was hooking up with her shortly thereafter. Three years later, we’re still friends and grab dinner once a month. This pattern, by the way, continued for a few months (and a few more women), until I was truly and finally “over” my ex. You need to be “over” someone in order to be able to date. When you’re reeling from a break-up, all you can do is RECEIVE. I remember reading once upon a time that people need half the length of the relationship to heal properly. Great blog Evan, I think you are right, you might feel like you want to be in someone elses company, but it´s just not fair on the other person.

And while I WANTED to be ready to date, and definitely had the online dating skill set to be ready to date, I was not emotionally ready to date. But I never gave her the opportunity she deserved to have all of me. If you were together for two years, you need one year of healing. I’d probably say it’s closer to one-tenth of the time. At the moment I am kind of in that position (on the recieving end) and I am treading carefully and so is the guy, since his 4 year rel ended over xmas, and he is just putting the pieces back together.

He asked how much $ I needed monthly and I said just half my rent (775) is plenty, he said he thought it wasn't fair and that I deserved more, but I said 775 was fine, he was to start Jan 1st.

He has zero family here so I invited him over for thanksgiving and xmas and it was very nice. I decided to invite a MALE FRIEND(whom I met through my kids school about a year ago and is a single and great dad to 3 boys, nothing has ever happened between us just chit chat and we just recently exchanged numbers) over for dinner and movies since it was my night without the kids.

My Mom was widowed after 30 years and it took her about 3 years to be ready to date again. He told me he wanted only something casual, and so we kind of decided to go our seperate ways, but the problem is that we do like each other, so I kind of threw out there “if u want we can hang out as friends” but whether that is realistic (and whether he is interested in that at all) is another story.

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