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Generally, children will not share your sense of excitement about the wedding. Usually, giving children major roles in the ceremony quickly becomes chores.It is generally best to give a child only one active role and also to be mentioned in the ceremony, rather than to actively involve a child at many different points throughout the ceremony.They also do not know what they are supposed to do after the ceremony ends. The couple should simply take a moment to hug their child/children, thank them for helping in the ceremony, and then telling them they are free to play. With many weddings, a good way to involve children (except very young) is to give each their own one-time use camera and have them take pictures they think are important.

The bride and groom walk away and are crowded by "big people" - with the children left out of the immediate post ceremony celebration.

When children tend to feel most left out is immediately after the ceremony.

While doing so, I will point out that the center candle not only represents the marriage, but also the light and unity of the new family.(Some couples wish to involve guests and family members in an active and positive sense in the ceremony itself. If you truly love _________________ and __________________, you will never do anything to hinder their marriage, never speak against either spouse, and support the marriage through the good times and the hard times. He/she will address the child(ren) by name and then state a short vow accepting the child(ren) as their own and making a commitment to them.

A new parent's vow to the children is NOT required and you may change the wording if you decide to make such a vow.) "___________, I promise to accept and love you as my own child(ren) and to protect and love you all of my life.

Occasionally, a couple will have the children asked, "Do you accept this family and the marriage?

" Care should be taken in this decision, as sometimes the child is not completely comfortable with the marriage.For younger children, usually the simple task of holding the rings or bouquet is enough to accomplish a sense of participation.For teenagers, the role may be as simple as standing up with the couple, playing the CD or tape of wedding music, or even just taking pictures of the ceremony.I promise to do my best to guide and support you - and to respect you enough to allow you to see the world through your own eyes."Having family members and friends participate in the marriage ceremony adds much to personalize the ceremony and bring it to life.You are welcome to have friends or family member step forward for any reading, a poem, to read a bible verse or say a prayer or blessing.Children tend to see the world as revolving around themselves - and the wedding ceremony as also their day.

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